Second Rate

by Kevin Sinclair

Depression strikes deep into the heartland
While life seems so over-rated
Death would be easier to bear
At least then I wouldn't grow dated
It's a feeling deep down in the gut
While the head just spins along
How can something be right
When it feels so terribly wrong?

You have so many achievements
She said why don't you celebrate?
But inside my heart I know
That everything is just second rate
Why don't they see the mistakes
That I can't ignore
Why do they give me praise
Instead of showing me the door?

I turn my face from the world
Fear that it's something I can't handle
I have left your love on the table
While I slowly hobble - a stone in my sandal
The pain shows on my face
Hidden behind storm clouds may be a smile
You may care but I don't
It's just something that's my natural style.

Who can I turn to now?
My bridges are burning to ash and decay
Can't stand here forever
Need someone to show me the way
Answers may be over the horizon
But I can't see them anymore
Rags to riches they said
But I know my soul is still poor.

Been there, done that, I said
No need to try it again
But then you whispered the word "persistence"
And through my heart I felt a jolt of pain
Where have my ideals gone
Has a cyclone wind blown them away?
Character and defining moments -
Has mine arrived today?

This poem is from a collection of poetry by Kevin Sinclair. For a listing of other poems by Kevin published on this site, click here.